Nothing hurts more than failure.
Things to think about after a failure
I come to write this as I've just had a setback of my own, so this is somewhat a reminder to myself;
I've failed a million times, this is nothing new. But it always stings the same. Which is always WAY more than I’d expect for a feeling I've felt this many times before
This time it was a job opportunity I really, REALLY wanted, made it to the final interview. Didn't get it.
Most of my biggest failures have been in sports: I could get into them but this isnt supposed to be about that.
I've had personal failure, relationship failures, educational failures, health failures, etc….
Im far from a failure, but I dabble.
From dabbling in the game of failure, I've learned a thing or two… here are what I feel like are the three things im trying to remind myself to do right now, and a few not to do.
1. What lesson can you learn from this
This one sucks becuase you never want to think about how its you’re fault. But you only control yourself, so it's important to know how you would go about this differently. So next time you can.
In my running career. A lot of my failures came from stress. I ran poorly or went out too hard because I was so stressed and nervous about the outcome. I feared failure so much that it would cause me to occasionally fail.
But for you, I urge you to think about, in a perfect world, how it would have gone, and what makes that reality different then the one you lived.
2. When one door opens, another closes.
It's cheesy, but it's true. The part that sucks is theres no gurentee this other door is better.
But you know what, this other door is guaranteed to be better than no door. So walk through it and make the best of it.
When I didn't qualify for nationals and ended up being one spot out of US champs (same season) that closed the door on professional running for me. The next door over was pursuing art and design. Who's to say if it's a better door, but it sure beats the moping around I felt like doing.
When the agency I worked at as a JR designer throughout college and grad school wouldn't bring me on as a regular designer. It forced me into freelancing.
When I didn't make the elite soccer team when I was like 10 it crushed my dreams of being an elite soccer player so hard that a few months later I chose running (a sport I had never done competitively) over soccer, the sport I had played since I was three.
Those doors were probably all better. But in the moment, it seemed like no door could be better than the locked hallway I was I was In.
The thing to remember in this moment. Doors are not just sitting open, inviting you in. You gotta go find that other door… Don't sit and cry next to the locked door for too long. Go find the next thing and put your energy into that.
3. Be like a goldfish and move on
Ted Lasso said this one… the jist of the quote are goldfish are happy in life because they only have a 10-second memory.
10-second memory doesnt mean 0-second memory, you are allowed to feel emotions. Im not out here preaching full suppression of all sadness.
Here's what my college teammate told me:
after every race, good or bad, you get 24 hours. If it was a good race go crazy and celebrate. If it was a bad race. Mope around and cry all you want. In 24 hours its back to work. Back to a neutral mind state. Back to your next goal.
The fact is, if you're caught up in your failure, you'll never win again. If Michael Jordan gave up on shooting cuz he missed a game winner. Then we would never have MJ
Things not to do
1. Do anything rash
When I fail, I always feel like I need to do something equally major to make up for it. Almost like I just gambled half my money, lost it all. And now I feel like I need to gamble the other half.
Idk what human instinct this is, but it's stupid. Ignore it. Wait 48 hours.
2. Deny the fact that YOU failed.
Sometimes, at least for me, it's easier to live in denial. To tell no one, to not talk about. To almost pretend like the opportunity never arose.
In running, I kept training just as hard for another 6-12 months. No race in mind. No goal. I just didn't want to accept that I was no longer a top college runner or a pro runner
I’ll admit, sometimes you need the denial for a bit. But keep it short.
3. Deny the fact that it stings.
“I didnt even care that much”
Yes you did.
Trying is cool.
Caring is cool.
Don't do that
Most importantly,
Don't quit.
Im sure I don't seem like a quitter. I’m sure no one does. But I need this reminder as much as everyone else.
When I fail, I want to quit everything in my life, pretend like it never mattered to me. Leave everything behind, start traveling, and watch every sunset.
The thing is, sunsets are a lot prettier on a mountain top with your friends. Don't quit, keep climbing.
Don't Quit
Don't Quit
Don't Quit
A bit bummed,
Zach
Jun 9th 2025